Super Bowl Lame: The Lows and the Lows

To say the least, Super Bowl L was an abomination. It is the most blatant way that I can say it.

And I’m merely a Niners fan.

With the remote in my hand and an ice cream cone in my mouth, I set out to watch the highly anticipated Super Bowl L, the milestone game: the game that would set records and captivate audiences around the globe. As it was Peyton Manning’s supposed last appearance, the stakes were high, and so were the expectations. The Carolina Panthers, with their 15-1 record and lead in postseason rushing yards, and the Denver Broncos, with their 12-4 record and lead in regular season total defense and passing, were set to play one of the most cutthroat Super Bowls yet. The following two hours were supposed to be compiled of the best offensive and defensive plays I have even seen in my short yet fruitful life.

Looking back upon it, I wish that I spent my Sunday evening watching YouTube videos than the disgrace that was Super Bowl L.

With 12 penalties, 3 turnovers, and a missed field goal attempt, the reknowned Carolina Panthers offense and defense ended up looking like 11 uncoordinated kittens on the field. The Broncos’ defense took up all the open opportunities, using two of the Panther’s fumbles to ultimately dismount the Panther’s hopes of winning and prance towards two touchdowns, adding on to their overall score.

The result? 24-10 and Manning’s cinched 200th win.

“We had our opportunities,” Newton said. “There wasn’t nothing special that they did. We dropped balls. We turned the ball over, gave up sacks, threw errant passes. That’s it. They scored more points than we did.”

To the Broncos: I hope you enjoy basking in the light of your glory. But while you are admiring your glistening Super Bowl L rings by your bedstand before you go to sleep, I will patiently be waiting for Super Bowl LI.