Corny Trump Confirmed

Arielle Lew

More stories from Arielle Lew

Club Spotlight: DECA
December 27, 2017

Ever notice how Donald Trump’s hair resembles the ones from of a corn. Well it’s been confirmed: Donald Trump is part corn!


In Trump’s private property in Orange County, Mar-a-Mango, a sample of his DNA was acquired from a fellow informant, Clementine Citron. You might find the results appealing. It actually made my heart skip a beet.


Lettuce look at the results: By using the Government Uracil Evidence Scientific System (GUESS) by Radical Anomalies Not Dominated Of Mesopotamian Psychology Effect Energized Particles (RANDOMPEEPS), it turns out that Trump is irrefutably 2% part corn! The evidence is right hair.


So I’ve bean thinking. Orange you grapeful that we have a berry unique president? To this, I say to olive America: We don’t have to date him, but we also cantaloupe with him. So we should just try to a-peach-iate him. And please, don’t feel melancholy. Who knows? We might end up being a swell pear.