So Long Safeway, Lucky’s Is Here to Stay

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On March 29, 2018, one of the largest grocery stores, Safeway, announced their closing. According to recent polls, 100% of people buy their groceries from Lucky’s. With numerous farms closing down due to farmers wanting to eat all of their produce, Lucky’s is the only grocery store that is able to obtain fresh produce. To make matters worse, the iconic Safeway’s logo, disappeared minutes before the announcement of their closing. Only recently has Safeway spoken publicly about the closing. A spokesperson stated, “We’ve decided that the havoc being wrecked on the agriculture economy is no longer in our best interest to pursue. Who needs lettuce, anyways? We honestly do not care about food, and we would much rather quit. Who honestly needs to eat?”

 

The recent news of this event has left the world in shock. Many people sent complaints, and protests have been erupting all over the country. Before proceeding to run crazily in circles, one protester, Traders Joe, screamed, “Safeway is God. Safeway is LIFE.”

 

Traders Joe is not the only one to feel this way. Whole Foods, a giant food lover, noted that the world would not be the same. Many protesters thought the same thing. People are simply unhappy without their friendly, neighborhood Safeway. People truly miss it, and the cries have supposedly been heard.

 

Just yesterday, Safeway made its last public statement about the closing. The CEO told the audience, who were filled with tears, “This is it, an end of a legacy.”

 

Without Safeway, the world is not so LUCKY.

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